We read an article recently, in similar vein, to Personal Branding which considered the aspect of ‘Fake It, ‘til You Make It’. We’re not fans of that way of thinking and back that up by the dictionary term of Fake here:
Adjective – not genuine; imitation or counterfeit
Noun – a thing that is not genuine; a forgery or sham
Verb – forge or counterfeit (something)
There is nothing Real about Fake and we explore 5 pointers to assist
Personal Style Development
Most charismatic people have developed their style and rapport building over the years and have learned to moderate, not be overbearing and are subtle; looking to get to know the person or audience – probably before they seek their ‘common link’.
You don’t want the conversation to feel forced and awkward and non-genuine; is that the art of small talk?
Using Your Audience’s Name Again and Again … and Again
When introduced to someone, using their name in conversation is good as it conveys a respect and warmth but using it too regularly can become overbearing and condescending. Best rule of thumb, we have found, is use it maybe every 3-5 minutes.
Copying Body and Facial Language
It has been observed that when people, in face to face conversations, are in sync through thought and dialogue they are often copying the other person’s gesture – maybe consciously or subconsciously. This gesturing of body and facial expressions makes you appear more empathetic and your audience will often warm to you. What not to do is intentionally mimic or copy as that may annoy and alienate your audience.
What is the difference between obvious and subtle copying?
If you are intentionally copying (because you are a master at body language), leave a gap between your audience’s gesture before adopting the same pose. Be subtle with copying facial expressions; if they are copied in a playful or jovial way your audience may believe you are poking fun at them and distance themselves from you.
Guilty as charged – Irish / Spanish blood will do that to you!
Hand gestures can be incredibly powerful, not only do they help you capture and maintain your audience’s attention, they can also assist in direction and congruency with the spoken word. They can also provide the appearance of making you look smarter. Research has shown “If a speaker’s gestures are not in full agreement with the spoken words, the audience consciously or subconsciously perceives deception, uncertainty, or (at the very least) conflict within.”
It is important to be aware of how movements are perceived. As an example, showing your palms at a 90-degree angle indicates insecurity and palms at 45-degrees communicates honesty. When communicating with a client, your hands being too flat could mean the difference between seeming credible or not. And hand clenches are a sign of strong commitment, a ‘battle through’ style. A fist shown in discussion at of none agreement point with your audience, has a threatening and suspicious connotation.
Not The Real You – A Show
If you are acting warm and fuzzy when you are not feeling it – your audience knows this is fake; their brains will react like they’ve been threatened.
You can change your perceptive influence by personal visualisation.
If you are set to speak with someone who you may have lost in conversation previously you can assist your physical state by visualising a favourite place, as example, a beach, a park, a forest and that will, factually, change how you feel and how you are perceived – have used this technique in stressful situations and it works every time (done in conjunction with deep breathing exercises too).
It is good to want to be more charismatic, you just need to ensure your charm offensive is not overly assertive, or it could backfire. What are your thoughts?
➥ Leave a comment down below ⬇⬇⬇